What’s in a Desired Top by TinkerBratTN-S03E37

Recorded: 3/14/2021 / Published: //2021
  • Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt. I’m your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show we use our combined 30 years of BDSM experience and my 20 years working in the psychology field to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com
  • In this episode of The Krypt we are going to talk about when you should not participate in BDSM play also know as a scene or scening. 
  1. Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
  2. KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
  3. “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
  • “What’s in a Desired Top by TinkerBratTN-S03E37”
    1. https://fetlife.com/users/12148162/posts/7011967
    2. “I have this friend that I have known for 5 years. He is a very well known Master and Top in some of my circles. He is semi-famous and sought after to play with. I have wanted to scene with him since we first met at a munch in E TN years ago. We just haven’t been able to connect in-person to do so and that’s ok.

I was speaking last night to another Top and he asked why so many people flock to this particular fellow. My answer was initially on the lines of “He is educated.” “He is well known and highly regarded.” “He’s a celebrity in our circles.”

But I’m not that type of person. I don’t go for the popular and the pretty. I am not a superficial person. I am much deeper than that when it comes to connection. Connection is very important for me even in just a scene. So what is it that draws me to a Dominant or Top? What makes me so picky?

Well, There are the basics.

Skill is a must due to safety.

Education is a must due to safety.

Having the same interests is a must or a scene wouldn’t happen.

But deeper…under the surface…WHAT draws me only to specific people?

Intelligence…. I’m an intelligent person. I’m not talking book smarts or computer programing etc. I’m talking about someone that has intelligence enough to go toe to toe with my intellect. I want someone that can outsmart me if I push. I want someone that can pry into my brain and dig around and press buttons I didn’t even know I had.

Intuition….Open, honest, clear communication is a must must must for me. But in a scene, I don’t want to have to tell you that this particular sensation is going to drive me wild if you increase it. I want you to observe and use your intuition to take me there based on the lighter version of that sensation. I don’t want someone that is going to hit my ass cheeks at 3/4 beat for the entire scene just because that’s what they have seen in other scenes.

Curiosity…. I want someone that looks at my body like it’s a blank canvas to write a song on. I want someone to take pleasure in finding buttons and getting reactions. I want their eyes to glaze over when I squirm or squeal. I want them to smile when they catch me in a battle of wills and they know they will win. I want someone that says “hmm.. that’s what happened when I did this.. .now what if I do THIS?”

Empathy… I want someone that understands when I’m in a scene, I give my all. It’s not superficial for me. I want someone that understands and can express empathy if something goes wrong or during aftercare. I don’t want a Top that is going to run me through the scene like I’m on a conveyer belt and push me off to take on the next bottom.

In the years I’ve observed the Top in question, I’ve observed all of these things. That makes him desirable to me. That, sadly, makes him rare and therefore exotic.”

Important Links:
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  2. National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
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