PodcastShow Notes

BDSM Punishments, Funishments, and Abuse-S02E12

Recorded: 3/15/2019 / Published: 3/16/2019
  • Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I’m your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show I use my 24 years of BDSM experience and 20 working the psychology field to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kudrinskrypt.com
  • On this episode of the Krypt we are hitting the rules to love by, I have to share with you my new collar maker https://www.daycollars.com, and then we are talking BDSM Punishments Vs Funishments..
  • [0:53] Rules to Love by:
      1. Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
      2. KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
      3. “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
  • [1:18] https://www.daycollars.com
    1. Day Collars is a place for personalized handmade collars, leashes, cuffs and belts. They cater to everyone, from sporty and informal daily fashion to the leather community. With DayCollars.com you can make your own personalized style of collars, leashes, belts, cuffs and other leather products. They will guide you through the styling of your accessory and the whole thing concerning your order is personalized to your needs and specifications. For inspiration and ideas on your personal style or to simply admire their completed works, visit their gallery page.
  • [3:30] According to “uncle google” a punishment is “the infliction or imposition of a penalty as retribution for an offense.”
    1. [4:00] Not all dynamics include punishments.
    2. [4:40] Types of Punishment
      1. Spanking, Kneeling, Kneeling on Something Painful like Legos, Bags of Rice, or a bag of screws, Standing in the Corner, Writing, Repetitive Writing, The Removal of Privileges such as TV, Phones, Internet usage or Going out with Friends (Being Grounded), Putting bruises and/or bite marks in places that the sub is certain to constantly bump, touch, or scrape throughout the next few days or week.
  • [6:03] Funishment: When the sub (brat) intentionally and playfully acts out in a non-disrespectful way to get the Dom to “punish” them.
    1. Playful name calling, playfully pushing boundaries, or touching the Dominant in an inappropriate way such as tickling them instead of coming out and asking for play.
    2. [8:31] Types of Funishments
      1. Typical scening such as impact, electric, needles, what ever a couples normal play would be.
      2. Tickle torture
      3. Orgasim Control such as torture or denial
      4. Guess the implement game
    3. [11:20] Example: Scene where someone was playfully acting out so I handcuffed her to the ladder.
  • [13:16] Misuse of the term punishment?
    1. Usually happens with newbies and online Doms and often can be a sign that the person doesn’t really know what they are doing and/or deosn’t have the experience they are claiming to have.
    2. They will ask about ways to use impact implements to punish their subs when they are actually talking about general scening. A punishment is for when rulses have been broken.
  • [15:58] How to punishments “correctly”
    1. ALWAYS talk about the offense and define the expectations and how they were not followed. Also remember, that they had to be defined to begin with otherwise you are making rules up as you go along and that’s not fair…which I’m guilty of.
    2. If emotions are high take as long as you need to calm down whether it is minutes or months. NEVER PUNISH ANGRY!
    3. Set the time for the punishment to occur. Make it ritualistic. It helps to set the tone and build a protocol for future events.
    4. Deliver the punishment.
    5. Follow up if the punishment is a task such as writing.
    6. Provide aftercare
    7. Have sub journal about the entire event from breaking the rule to having to write the journal entry.
    8. Discuss the incident and provide closure of the incident. “Secondary aftercare”
    9. Never bring it up again in a resentful, harsh, harmful, or intentionally obtuse manner.
  • [23:50] Punishment Examples:
    1. St. Patrick’s Day 2018 example with Mayfair and why she was punished.
    2. Nipple clamps on tongue for being disrespectful, demanding, controlling and rule setting.
  • [30:25] Funishment Example:
    1. Being a Bratty Dom and making Mayfair wear handcuffs during the entire night at a Dungeon where she still had to perform all of her typical acts of service.
  • [31:45] Abuse Defined
    1. Abuse (v):
      1. use (something) to bad effect or for a bad purpose; misuse.
      2. treat (a person or an animal) with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.
    2. Abuse (n):
      1. the improper use of something.
      2. cruel and violent treatment of a person or animal.
  • [32:27] Types of punishments that are abuse.
    1. Anything that is a hard limit.
    2. Any punishment that is perform uncontrolled or in an altered state.
      1. Anger, Intoxication, Mental Illness, …
    3. Any thing that has not been negotiated.
    4. (Sometimes) Humiation and Degradation
    5. (Sometimes) Time and affection denial.
    6. When the Dom changes the rules just so he can make the sub fail. He’s not a Dom, he is an abuser creating ways to satisify his broken ego and needs.
    7. Things done that intentionally go beyond hurt and cause harm.
    8. Things done out of spite.
    9. Pushing a sub to immediately call red at the very start of a scene just to prove a “point”.
  • https://kuldrinskrypt.com/212
[:] A final note or two:
  1. I’d like to thank our Pro Producer, who wishes to remain anonymous. Executive Producers Jeremiah, Jess, ArcaneD.G.R. & violetaurelia, babylove2269, and Queen Sage. Our Sr. Producers Matt, xEmeraldxWolfx and Feline_Rouge. Our Producers Kainsin, Roxiebear, Sihlus, ThatPlace: Oklahoma City, JayKay, olive_eyes, and Seine (sane). And our Jr. Producers K-2SO, BuffaloDom84, LxSoumis, Hayley, and Alexandria. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.
  2. Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts for their donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hardbound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.
  3. And finally, I’d like to thank http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.
NEXT WEEK’S AGENDA
  1. Next time on The Krypt ???. In the meantime go to https://kuldrinskrypt.com for show notes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Fetlife group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to become a Patreon supporter.
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