The New Predator Part 2: Borderline Personality DIsorder-S05E20

Recorded: January 7, 2023 / Published: , 2023 
  • Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt. I’m your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show we use [our combined 34 years of BDSM experience and my 20 years working in the psychology field to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. Text your questions and comments to 865-268-4005 or visit the Krypt at  
  • In this episode, by request, we are continuing our conversation about the new community predators.
  1. Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
  2. KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
  3. “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
  • Disclaimer: Mayfair and I are not medical professionals and we are only giving our intrurpritation of the information. Because our advice is to talk to a professional, if you choose to make any decisions because of something we say, you are making those decisions against our advised and are solely responsible for all outcomes of your decisions.
  • “Drama Queens: The New Predator Part 2: Borderline Personality DIsorder-S05E20”
  • “5 Signs You Might Be a Drama Queen” by Claire Jack Ph.D.
  • Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD):
        2. PBD is a personality disorder characterized by a pervasive pattern of instability. More specifically, Borderline Personality Disorder is characterized by instability in relationships, self-image, emotions, and behavior (impulsivity).
        3. Criteria for diagnosis:
          1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.  
          2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation. 
          3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self. 
          4. Impulsivity in at least two potentially self-damaging areas (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).  
          5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behavior. 
          6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and rarely more than a few days). 
          7. Chronic feelings of emptiness. 
          8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights). 
          9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms. 
  • What to know about people with BPD:
        1. PBD is most commonly a trauma/PTSD based disorder. 
        2. Another cause of BPD is learned behavior from having a parent with BPD or other serious mental health disorders such as bipolar disorder or substance abuse.
        3. About 70% of diagnosed patients are female. 6.2% female and 5.6% male.
  • People with BPD tend to use the diagnosis as an excuse for their behavior. It is an explanation NOT an excuse.
        1. Relationship push and pull (Hot and cold)
        2. Views the world in extremes (Black or white thinking)
        3. Everyone feels they must walk on eggshells around someone with BPD because they are prone to explosiveness.
        4. They tend to manipulate others
        5. Common self-harming behaviors: cutting, scratching, substance abuse, dangerous sex, dangerous sexual situations, starting verbal and physical altercations, 
        6. Uncommon self-harming behaviors: Pulling out their own hair (Trichotillomania)
  • Treatment Options:
      1. Medication can assist with symptoms such as depression and anxiety but do nothing for the behavioral symptoms of the disorder.
      2. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT) (Recognized as the best treatment for BPD):
        1. the core principles of DBT – dialectical thinking, mindfulness, emotional regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness – provide a comprehensive framework for helping individuals achieve emotional balance, develop meaningful relationships, and navigate life’s challenges with resilience.
          1. Dialectical thinking is the ability to view issues from multiple perspectives and to arrive at the most economical and reasonable reconciliation of seemingly contradictory information and postures.
  1. The Four Steps of DBT: (Completion takes a minimum of six months to one year and often takes about two years.)
    1. Stage 1: Foundational DBT Skills: ‍This stage focuses on developing the foundational skills needed for managing emotions, improving relationships, and reducing impulsive behavior.
    2. Stage 2: Addressing the Issue: ‍This stage focuses on addressing trauma and other underlying issues contributing to emotional dysregulation.
    3. Stage 3: Greater Sense of Self-Respect: This stage focuses on achieving a greater sense of self-respect and self-esteem and developing a stronger sense of self-identity.
    4. Stage 4: Meaning & Purpose: This stage focuses on achieving a sense of meaning and purpose in life and developing a greater understanding of spiritual connection.
  1. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
    1. A form of talk therapy that focuses on changing a person’s internal dialog.
  • Resources:
    1. Book: “I Hate You-Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality” by Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus 
    2. Book “Emotional Sobriety: From Relationship Trauma to Resilience and Balance” by Tian Dayton 
Important Links:
  1. Full show notes:
  2. National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
  3. NCSF Kink Aware Professionals: 
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