LivePodcastShow Notes

What is a BDSM Dominant submissive Dynamic-S03E11

Recorded: 9/13/2020 /  Published: 2/13/2021
    1. In this episode of The Krypt, Mayfair and I are talking about BDSM dynamic and what it really means.
    2. Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I’m your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show I use my 25 years of BDSM experience and 20 working the psychology field to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.
    3. Rules to Love By
      1. Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
      2. KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
      3. “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
    4. What is a BDSM Dominant submissive Dynamic-S03E11 
    5. https://fetlife.com/users/5941729/posts/6570436  
    6. “A Dynamic should always evolve, be updated, be thought about, have the ability to flex, etc. The word Dynamic itself means precisely that.” – Master Gabriel (@RavynBlood), Head of House, @HouseRavynblood

Dynamic:

adjective

(of a process or system) characterized by constant change, activity, or progress. 

In the vanilla world, we refer to relationships in static terms such as dating, hooking up, marriage, and so on. While these lend a hint of evolution somewhere in the background of our minds, they leave out the upfront fact that change is a must. Author John Maxwell wrote “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional”. This quote tells the tale of a true dynamic relationship. One that ebbs and flows. One that seeks to learn and grow together. One that recognizes that through the turning tides and the evolutions of shoreline, positive change and growth can lead a dynamic relationship all the way back to the beginning, and thus, end the romantic side but leave a lasting friendship that lasts a lifetime.

All too often open and honest communication is talked about but not completed. This is why D/s and romantic relationships end badly instead of evolving back to friendships. Many studies have shown that all relationships, be it romantic or platonic, have a defined half-life. This means that when the relationship ends, it can clearly be seen that the troubles statistically start at the halfway point of the relationship. To put that into simple terms, if two people were together for five years, it was at the two and a year point that things started to devolve into the end by one or both of the involved.

Can this be prevented? Absolutely! However, it typically and statistically will not be, and here is why:

1: Maturity: People often lack the emotional maturity to be able to have the hard conversations. This leads to resentment, blaming, loathing, self-loathing, and a cornucopia of other unhealthy thoughts and emotions that simply doom a relationship.

2: Psychology: Besides the plethora of personality disorders such as Borderline, Avoidant, Oppositional Defiant, and Narcissistic, there is a need in most people to be liked and to not hurt others. Most people have told “little white lies” to avoid hurting or offending someone. Others need their partner to tell them these lies so they won’t be offended or hurt. These are actually the most damaging to a relationship. These lead us to feel controlled by the emotions of our partners and lead to a need to escape and thus seek freedom from the emotional prison we are in. The fact of the matter is that within every person lies an emotional terrorist and it is up to us as to what we do with it.

So how do we overcome these two very real issues? We force ourselves to grow. We embrace the gifts that a true dynamic has to offer and lean into change and growth. We learn to accept that some outfits do in fact make us “look fat”, that not every sexual encounter was “the best she ever had”, that the meal wasn’t good. We have to be able to hear the truth from our partners in a mature and healthy way so they are not afraid to speak the truth. If a person can’t be honest about the little things for fear of hurting feelings or offending, how can they be honest about the big things?

All of this is why I am so careful with whom I enter into a relationship of any kind. I embrace the dynamic. Thus I embrace the inevitable change. Whether it lasts a short time, a long time, or a lifetime, I need to be certain that all things can and will be discussed openly and honestly so there isn’t just change but growth. Whether that change and growth leads to a lifetime partner, friend, or fond memory of ships passing in a long night doesn’t matter because the outcome, when all is said and done, is ultimately the same-positivity, love, and respect. To me, this is what a true and healthy dynamic consists of.

Important Links:
    1. Full show notes can be found at https://kuldrinskrypt.com/311 
    2. National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
    3. https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/Patreon 
    4. https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication 
    5. https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey 
    6. https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic 
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