Recorded: 9/04/2022 / Published: 2/18/2023
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- In this week’s episode we are talking about erotic blueprints and the ups and downs of each one of them..
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- Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
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- “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
“Your Erotic Blueprint-S04E42”
- What is an Erotic Blueprint?
Conceptualized and trademarked by Miss Jaiya (https://missjaiya.com/), it is a method that helps explain your sexual preferences, needs, and desires. Together, the Five Erotic Blueprints™ give couples and singles a menu of how turn-on works in your body, how you can please your partner and ask for what you want, and how to expand your definition of “sex” into a whole new world of play and erotic possibilities.
- What is a shadow? What are the shadow sides of each type?
Each Erotic Blueprint Type has superpowers—the places for that Type where sex becomes exciting, arousal amps up, and orgasms are easy, accessible, and abundant. Each Blueprint Type also has shadows: unconscious places where your body and any sexual connection may suddenly shut down or go offline and arousal disappears. It’s often the flip side of the superpower.
- What are the types and what are their shadows?
- Energetic Types
Energetic Types are the sensitive, intuitive empaths of the erotic world. If you’re Energetic, you love tease, anticipation, and longing. You need to feel your lover’s full presence, and you find deep and even cosmic meaning in sex. Sex to you starts way before any physical touch: with presence, breathing, eye gazing, and feeling one another’s energy.
Energetics can have orgasms without touch, and can feel everything that’s happening in their partner’s body as well as their own. They are like the Jedi of the sex world! They can often tap into sexual energy at will, and tend to love learning and experiencing everything about tantra, kundalini, yoga, crystals, sound baths, and erotic energetic vibration.
- Energetic Types Shadow:
Being super sensitive and empathic as an Energetic can mean great, connected, mind-blowing sex where you feel fully merged with your partner, body and soul. But sometimes, it can mean struggling to have boundaries or feeling overwhelmed and shutting down if your lover rushes in to grab or touch you without taking time to get present, ground, and connect. Energetics can sometimes be hierarchical and judgy, as well. They can feel like their preferred kind of sex is superior to other Types because it’s more spiritual or more meaningful.
- Sensual Types
Sensual Types bring the beauty and romance to sex. If you are Sensual, you can have full body orgasms when all of your senses are ignited: taste, touch, sound, smell, and sight. You love kissing, cuddling, sensual feasting, skin-to-skin contact, slowing down and savoring every move. Sensuals often dress beautifully, celebrating textures and colors and clothing that feels delicious on their bodies; they enjoy beautiful surroundings, live music, art, and great food, all of which can be orgasmic experiences for these heart-centered hedonists.
If you are a Sensual, you need to relax to have sex; you are delighted by massaging touch, warm oil, candles, beautiful and harmonious settings, sunsets, sexy dancing, music, and opening your lover’s heart as well as your own with slow, attentive, romantic lovemaking.
- Sensual Types Shadow:
Sensuals can have full body orgasms when all of their senses are delighted. Their Shadow is that if anything feels “wrong” in the environment or the experience, they can get stuck in their heads and struggle to feel anything, including pleasure and arousal.
If you are a Sensual, you may get stuck in thought loops if the music is too loud, the “wrong” song came on, the room is messy, you’re worried that you or your partner didn’t shower, or your to-do list takes over in your head. You may also need to give yourself time to transition from everyday life into “sexy time.” Your body needs time to relax and reset; you can’t just shift on a dime from doing your taxes to doing wonderful sensual things.
- Sexual Types
Sexual Types are all about naked bodies, penetration, genitals, and orgasms! They want directness and certainty. Sex, to them, is often about intercourse and genitals, and anything else doesn’t really count. They tend to speak and approach sex with very clear and direct language: Are we going to do it? Want to have sex with me? Is it going to happen tonight? When?
Sex, for them, is a real need for regulating their nervous system: they have sex to relax. It’s like food or air or water; it’s what makes them feel loved and alive with a sense of belonging. When they are having regular, fulfilling sex, all is right with the world, and they can approach life with a sense of resource, generosity, and joy.
- Sexual Types Shadow:
Sexual Types LOVE sex and generally find penetrative sex and orgasms to be easy and obvious. Their Shadow is that because that directness is easy and works for them, they may have a narrow definition of sex, and feel that anything that doesn’t go straight to genitals and penetration, doesn’t “count.”
Other Blueprint Types may experience Sexuals as demanding or overly direct. If a Sexual Type is partnered with a different Blueprint type, they may struggle to understand why their partner seems so complicated and why it’s worth their effort to learn to please in new ways. But their love of frequent, satisfying sex and love for their partner generally wins out, and Sexuals can learn to expand into any and all of the Blueprints and become masterful lovers in any erotic adventure.
That’s true of all the Blueprints: the great thing about learning all Five Erotic Blueprint Types is that your erotic possibilities expand exponentially, and you can play and please in a whole world of new ways, with any kind of partner.
- Kinky Types
Kinky Types love everything that is taboo, forbidden, naughty, and off-limits. They love breaking rules and playing erotic games that bend and challenge what is “normal” and “acceptable.” There are two main types of turn-on, in the Kinky realm: Sensation Kink and Psychological Kink.
Sensation kink is all about exploring taboo sensations in the body: intense sensations like impact or scratching or being tied up; wrestling, being held down, and primal play (biting, wrestling, pouncing). Psychological kink is the wide world of mind games and role play: domination and submission, fantasy play, erotic body worship, surrender, BDSM.
Kinky Types have a million ways to play, and a million ways to ignite arousal and orgasm, especially when sensation and psychological adventuring are combined in creative ways. The most important words in the Kink world are play and consent: approaching everything with openness and curiosity, making sure everyone is enthusiastically agreeing to both desires and boundaries in any given play session, and being clear about what is wanted and not wanted.
- Kinky Types Shadow:
Kinky Types have the superpower of being able to play in almost limitless ways, but they often carry deep shame about their desires, because of our society’s narrow definition of how “normal” and acceptable sex is supposed to look. It’s a common misconception that people who like kink are somehow mentally ill or deranged. All kink is a perfectly normal thing to be into, as long as everyone involved is a consenting adult (just like in every other kind of sex!).
If you are Kinky, you may never have told your lover about your kinky desires, because you may have been afraid they would judge you or even leave you. You may not ever have admitted them to yourself, or you may have done so only after years of trying to bury or deny them. The great news for Kinky Types is that once we acknowledge and accept our kinkiness, research shows that we are among some of the happiest and most well-adjusted erotic explorers on the planet.
Most recently, a 2020 study published in the Sexuality Research and Social Policy journal shows that people who participate in BDSM “score similarly on most measures of psychological health, have similar levels of trauma and childhood experience as the general population, and relationship health.”
- Shapeshifter Types
Shapeshifter Types love adventure, novelty, and contrast. They are sophisticated lovers who have access to easily playing in any of the other four Blueprint Types. They can please partners in any Blueprint.
They are sometimes the people pleasers of the erotic world. It’s easy for them to give their lover what they want, but sometimes that means their complex and changing needs aren’t being met. Their challenge is to ask for all of what they want, including variety and erotic adventures beyond what their lover’s Blueprint might imagine.
- Shapeshifter Types Shadow:
Shapeshifters are complex, intricate, and sophisticated as erotic beings; once they embrace this, it becomes a superpower, but until that time they may feel like it’s wrong to ask for so much. If you are a Shapeshifter, you may feel like you are too much and too complicated. You may feel like you can never ask for what you truly want, because no one will want to give it to you.
The opposite is true: once a Shapeshifter learns to own how big they are, they become an erotic playground all by themselves. Shapeshifters bring the party everywhere they go, and doing so unapologetically with joy and confidence gives permission for everyone around them to do the same.
How can you learn your erotic blueprint?
Take the quiz! https://bit.ly/yesannemore_Quiz
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