Depression within the BDSM Community-S03E09

Recorded: 8/30/2020 /  Published: 1/30/2021
    1. In this episode of The Krypt, Mayfair and I are going to talk about Depression within the BDSM Community
    2. Call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at https://kuldrinskrypt.com.
    3. Rules to Love By:
      1. Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
      2. KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
      3. “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
    4. Depression within the BDSM Community
      • Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and lack of interest, to the extent that it interferes with your daily life. It is a common mental health problem that normally affects around 7% of the American population in a given year. However, that number has skyrocketed this year, 2020, due to the COVID-19 pandemic, and a cornucopia of other travesties this year has seemingly gift-wrapped for us all.
      • There are lots of reasons why a person might be diagnosed with depression, from simple biological causes to psychological and social issues. Whatever causes depression, it’s important to remember that there is help out there for everyone.
    5. If you’ve found this because you’re feeling down or after listening to this you realize you might be struggling with depression, please reach out to someone – whether it’s a friend, family member, counselor, doctor, or online service.
      • National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
    6. Quotes:
      • “Depression is living in a body that fights to survive, with a mind that tries to die.” – Danny Baker, author of “Depression is a Liar”
      • “The only thing more exhausting than being depressed is pretending that you’re not.” – Unknown
      • “It’s so difficult to describe depression to someone who’s never been there, because it’s not sadness. I know sadness. Sadness is to cry and to feel. But it’s that cold absence of feeling—that really hollowed-out feeling.” – J.K. Rowling, author of “Harry Potter”
      • “Depression, suffering, and anger are all part of being human.” – Janet Fitch, author of “White Oleander”
      • “I’ll never forget how the depression and loneliness felt good and bad at the same time. Still does.” – Henry Rollins, musician, actor, author, poet, activist
      • “It’s a bit like walking down a long corridor, never knowing when the light will go on.” – Neil Lennon, Irish Football Coach
      • “Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: It is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.” – C.S. Lewis author of at least 24 books including “The Chronicles of Narnia”
    7. What is depression?
      • Depression is a mood disorder that causes a persistent feeling of sadness and lack of interest, to the extent that it interferes with your daily life.
    8. Who gets depressed?
      • Everyone?
    9. What causes depression?
      • Everyday life, trauma, genetics, chemistry, the inability to regulate emotions, longterm stress, …
    10. Is depression curable, treatable, or none of the above?
      • It depends. If it is trauma or stress-based it is curable. If it is genetic or chemistry-based it is treatable. 
    11. How BDSM helps with Depression
    12. “Kink 101: Depression and BDSM” by David Shorb (Feb. 8, 2019)https://www.manystories.com/story/5c5d82ba5fe1e6300036fe09
      • “So how does kink activities like power exchange, or impact play affect someone with depression or anxiety? Well, everyone agrees that there is a temporary effect because of the release of endorphins, and other reward neurochemicals such as dopamine for example. Neurochemicals play a large part in subspace and that euphoric feeling you get after a great flogging session or when you have had a great scene with your partner.
      • In a 2015 survey by Christian Joyal Ph.D. The survey asked 1,500 women and men about their sexual fantasies, which showed that “64.6 percent of women and 53.3 percent of men reported fantasies about being dominated sexually — and 46.7 percent of women and 59.6 percent of men reported fantasies about dominating someone sexually.” Which I would say is about right. In America, we have a hard time publicly talking about our fantasies because of the Puritan culture we have developed here in America. I would, however, say that over the last 15 or 20 years we have started to become a lot more open about sex and sexuality.
      • In 2006, Pamela H Connolly, Ph.D., published a study about the Psychological Functioning of Bondage/Domination/Sado-Masochism (BDSM) Practitioners, the study found that BDSM practitioners had lower levels of depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), psychological sadism, psychological masochism, borderline pathology, and paranoia.
      • Studies have also shown that there is an increase in the closeness of those that take part in BDSM activities which could be associated with the release of oxytocin, which is another feel-good neurochemical, and the one that is released when we feel love or good feelings about a person.
      • There is a relationship between BDSM and the treatment of depression, even though speculatively speaking, it is only a temporary alleviation of symptoms when engaged in activities such as impact play, sensation type play, bondage, and other types of heavy play.
      • For example, when a submissive goes into “Subspace”, it’s a state of consciousness called transient hypofrontality. In short, Transient Hypofrontality is when a submissive reaches a different level of consciousness where they feel reductions in pain, feelings of floating, feelings of peacefulness, feelings of living in the here and now, and time distortions.
      • So how does BDSM affect depression? In the short term, it alleviates the symptoms and could possibly for a short period of time help a person feel different, and could maybe help get the right neurochemicals where they need to be, however, I would still strongly suggest never stopping any kind of medication or medical treatment for your mental health issues. A Flogging session should never be a replacement for medical care for your mental health issues.”
    13. “Psychological Functioning and Violence Victimization and Perpetration in BDSM Practitioners from the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom” https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/0cd8/abb591fda8685091c1f208bc757d616f0903.pdf 
      • Prepared by: Tess M. Gemberling, M.A., Co-Principal Investigator, University of Alabama
      • Robert J. Cramer, Ph.D., Co-Principal Investigator, University of Alabama
      • Susan Wright, M.A., Co-Principal Investigator, National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
      • Matt R. Nobles, Ph.D., Co-Principal Investigator, University of Central Florida
    14. National Suicide Hotline: 1-800-273-8255
Important Links:
  1. Full show notes can be found at https://kuldrinskrypt.com/309 
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  3. https://kuldrinskrypt.com/silentcommunication 
  4. https://KuldrinsKrypt.com/survey 
  5. https://kuldrinskrypt.com/TeePublic 
Thank you: 
  1. Show Producers:
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    2. Pro Producer ($100/month): 
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Vendors I know, like, trust, and use: (None of these are paid sponsors of the podcast.)
  1. http://bdsmcontracts.org Coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.
  2. http://whippingstripes.com – My personal maker of most things leather and paracord impact toys.
  3. http://www.torridtimber.com/ – Fine fetish furniture and accessories
  4. https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheCraftyHedonist 
  5. Tink’s Toys Fb Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/2350280868612699 Fetlife Profile: https://fetlife.com/users/9885653?sp=3 
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