S01E22-Discretion in BDSM
June 20th, 2017
- This is Kuldrin’s Krypt season 1 episode 22 for June 20th, 2017.
- Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I’m your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show this is a place to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com. On this episode of the Krypt we are going get into Discretion in BDSM. Why it’s important? How to be discrete? And what happens if someone is outed but as usual I have to welcome my amazing co-host, Funsize.
- Before we get into the main topic I have a couple of things to bring up.
- First I’d like to thank our patreon supporter The Accidental Trucker…he’s been around since the beginning of the show. He gives a dollar a month. If the listeners are getting anything out of I’d be greatful if they would visit the site and click on the support us tab to give through patreon.
- Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.
- Rules to Love by:
- Safe, sane, consensual, informed
- KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerence, Kindness, Integrity
- “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
- Discretion defined: The respect shown to others by not outing others in any harmful, purposeful, or harmful way.
- What is it to be discrete? Simply not speaking about others without their knowledge and consent.
- What is outing? Is letting people know about some of the experiences that a person or persons may have undertaken without their explicit consent. It can happen maliciously or even accidentally.
- What makes discretion so important? It’s a matter of showing to respect to others and yourself, and helps to uphold personally integrity. Facing the consequences of being outed or being indiscreet can be difficult.
- Consequences to those who have been outed. Possible loss of family, friends, career, home, life, etc.
- Consequences for those who out others. Shunning, blacklisted, close monitoring. Consequences for those who behave maliciously are much harsher. For those who are new and have accidental slip ups, there is usually a conversation had about the importance of discretion.
- What you can do to if you have been outed? Step One: Keep calm. Minimize the damage to yourself when you can by staying calm. Step Two: Seek counsel. Talk to your support system. Step Three: Will vary by the situation at hand. Prepare as much as you can for what you will face. Speak to the person who outed you with a moderator present if you can. Let your community leaders know what has happened.
- How to be discreet? Keep conversations at appropriate levels at munches. Munches are a vanilla event. Be aware of your surroundings. Be appropriate in your conversations within the space you are having those conversations. Try to control your excitement. Look at the perspective of another before outing anyone maliciously. Also consider creating ghost accounts, and continue discretion on social media. Follow the general rules of our community.
NEXT WEEK’S AGENDA
- Next on The Krypt we are going to back to the foundation of the show and getting into BDSM Safety 101. In the meantime go to kuldrinskrypt.com for shownotes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Facebook group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to because a patreon supporter.
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Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin and Funsize for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth