PodcastShow Notes

S01E29-Your First BDSM Play Party

Kuldrin’s Krypt: A BDSM 101 Podcast
S01E29-Everything You Need to Know About Your First Play Party
September  29, 2017
  1. This is Kuldrin’s Krypt season 1 episode 29
  2. Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I’m your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show this is a place to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com. On this episode of the Krypt we are going to talk about everything you need to know about your first BDSM play party but before we begin I have to welcome my amazing co-host, Funsize.
  3. Before we get into the main topic I have a couple of things to bring up.
    1. First I’d like to thank our patreon supporters The Accidental Trucker, K-2SO and Matt. If you are getting anything out of I’d be greatful if they would visit the site and click on the support us tab to give through patreon. In order to maintain weekly episodes we are going to have to reach the goal of $30/month in listener support otherwise, due to costs, we will have to go to two episodes a month.
    2. Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.
  4. Rules to Love by:
      1. Safe, sane, consensual, informed
      2. KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerence, Kindness, Integrity
      3. “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
  5. Before we begin I, as usual, like to start out with some definitions.  What is a play party Funsize?  
    1. A play party is a gathering for those in the lifestyle, getting together for various methods of play, be they demonstrations, performances, or just scenes in general.  There are two types of play parties actually, regular play parties usually listed on Fetlife, or generally known within community munch circles and groups, and dark parties, which are by invitation only.  
    2. How to get invited?
      1. It usually comes down to who you know, especially in the case of dark parties.  However simply having friends who are going to a community play party can be a way of finding out about them.  You can also check the events page on Fetlife to see if anything is listed for your local community.  
      2. Vetting is vital to these types of events.  It’s an important practice on both sides, as a hosts, and as those attending.  Lots of local communities vet via munches.  Others prefer one on one sit down meetings for certain events.  
        1. It’s important to be patient and openly communicative if you are not being invited to these events as quickly as you had hoped.  Some groups simply have extensive vetting practices, especially for dark parties.  
        2. It is also important that you vet those you know are attending and your hosts.  You can check who is going to most community parties and vet them on Fetlife, for dark parties, you will more likely know people on a more personal level before you are invited.   
    3. What to bring?  (In no particular order)
      1. Fetish-wear or other appropriate clothing to change into or out of for the event.  Some events have strict dress codes to adhere to.
      2. Towels and washcloths.   While some hosts will provide towels and washcloths to sit on and for clean up, it’s often more considerate to simply pack you own.  No hosts likes to do that much laundry after a party!
      3. Bottled water.  Many will offer refreshments but again to be considerate and mindful of others it’s often better just to already have it on hand.  (Plus I cannot tell you how many times I’ve gone to an event and then ended up chugging that bottle of water on my way home later.)
      4. Wipes/ moist towelettes.  Even if you’re not participating in a scene you may find yourself sweaty or arouse, and these make life so much easier.  
      5. Your own toys/ toy box in a discreet container! (I’ve got a story here)
      6. Aspirin/ Tylenol.  One word; headaches.  NO one wants a headache to ruin this kind of experience, and getting into the practise of having these on hand will make for better experiences down the road as well.  
    4. What to expect?
      1. Do not expect to participate in a scene unless previously negotiated to do so; you can learn a lot from just watching
      2. Ask yourself what are your personal expectations for this experience? (thanks Roxiebear!)
      3. Regular people, doing ordinary things, and having ordinary conversations, during this event.  
      4. Acts which bring out things from your wildest fantasies; often for the firsts times ever in real life; or make you uncomfortable due to your own limits/ interests.
      5. Almost casual nudity and/or fetish wear that may make you uncomfortable
      6. Sometimes sex or sexual acts being carried out, but often times not.  
    5. House Rules
      1. Different hosts/ houses have different sets of rules, it’s important to learn these beforehand and/or go over them upon arrival, usually they will be posted and you can ask your hosts to view them.  
      2. Is there an entry fee or a potluck contribution expected?  This is good to know before you arrive.  
      3. Where you can go, and where you cannot.  You are usually entering a hosts private home for these parties.  Some rooms like living spaces will usually be allowed while bedrooms and often outdoor spaces will be set as off limits.  (Outdoors because of neighbors in most cases, remember your rules of discretion.)  
      4. What kind of scenes are appropriate/against the rules.  While this isn’t a big deal the first time you attend as you most likely will not be participating, it’s still good to pick up on for future events.  
      5. Protocol rules for the household.  Is this event high protocol friendly?  
      6. What is the dress code both in the house, and for your arrival and departure?  Make sure you’re dressed appropriately.  
      7. Where to sit while viewing a scene and if a towel is needed/preferred? (Usually it is.)  
      8. Do not interrupt a scene or interject yourself as there are still risks involved for the participants, and distractions increase those risks.  
      9. Bring any safety concerns you have for a scene being performed to your hosts discreetly, they have often gone over what will occur with those performing beforehand to address many of these concerns or will stop a scene if you have a valid safety issue to be addressed.  
      10. The general no touching rule, which applies to both persons and toys/implements.  Very general rule:  If it’s not yours, don’t touch it.  
      11. Know what to do in case of an emergency.  Many hosts will have specific protocols in place and first aid kits on hand on the off chance that something may go wrong.  
    6. Play party scenes, demos, and performances explained.
      1. In a scene of this nature some people (exhibitionist *cough* KULDRIN *cough*) enjoy being viewed, others become humiliated and enjoy it on another level.  
      2. The world falls away for the performers, allowing them to focus on what they doing (for the most part-  unless some distraction occurs.)  
      3. Save any questions you have for after the scene, including aftercare completion.
      4. Be prepared for more than one scene to be taking place at the party at one time and don’t become to anxious with feeling as though you’re miss something.  It’s important to simply enjoy the experience as a whole.  
    7. Our own stories and experiences
 NEXT WEEK’S AGENDA
  1. Next on The Krypt a special listener request, Type of Doms Explained . In the meantime go to kuldrinskrypt.com for shownotes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Facebook group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to because a patreon supporter.
Contact info:

Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin and Funsize for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth

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