Avoiding Burnout in BDSM-S01E43

By Master KuldrinPodcast, Show Notes

Recorded: May 13, 2018   /  Published: May 26, 2018
  1. Welcome to Kuldrin’s Krypt I’m your host Master Kuldrin. If you are new to the show we use our combined 30 years of experience to dispel myths, get rid of stereotypes, and answer your questions about BDSM. You can call in at 865-268-4005 to leave your question or visit the Krypt at kudrinskrypt.com
  2. On this episode of the Krypt we are going to explore ways to avoid burnout but first, I have to welcome my amazing co-host, Funsize.
  3. Rules to Love by:
      1. Safe, sane, consensual, and informed
      2. KNKI: Knowledge, No Intolerance, Kindness, Integrity
      3. “Submission is not about authority and it’s not about obedience; it is all about relationships of love and respect.” -Wm. Paul Young
  4. Definitions
    1. What is burnout?  Regardless of your position in the lifestyle you can become burnt out.  Burnout is often also called Dom fatigue, or sub fatigue, and thought of as an extended drop.  Honestly though you can experience a form of this even without having a partner. It is simply the feeling that you’ve had too much of the lifestyle for a time and you cannot find the energy or zeal that you used to have regularly to continue.  And it’s not just a feeling of oh I’m tired after this scene, it’s a deeper more resounding, I want nothing to do with this in my life right now feeling. So for those who are really committed to the lifestyle or a particular relationship the feeling can be devastating.  I really always compare burnout in the lifestyle to that of the workplace, if you don’t take a vacation for a long time you can get burnt out and the same applies here.
  5. How can the lifestyle make you jaded?
    1. Run ins with predators and fakes.
      1. One run in can be detrimental but when you’re trying to find the “one” it can be frustrating to the point of spiraling you into a sort of depressed state, which is a lot like burnout feels like.  
    2. Stress
    3. Changes like a move, new job, or end/beginning of a relationship.
      1. Of course having a relationship end can be very mentally jarring and leave you feeling empty and exhausted.  But, new relationships can also do this simply because of all the training and adjusting you may find yourself doing.  Some people do of course experience frenzy at the start of a relationship but for others it can be a very daunting thing.  You spend so much time looking for the right person that when you find them, you can feel like you just don’t have anything left to give.  
    4. Feeling stagnant.  
      1. Sometimes when you’ve been in a relationship for a while you can start feeling burnt out, the rush of those amazing new relationship drugs has worn off and you can find yourself in a rut.  Or you might find yourself doing the same thing every day or every scene and wanting to push forward but just not having it in you to do so. This kind of stagnation can cause an extreme drop that just leaves you drained.  
  6. What to do when you notice this happening?
    1. Turning to your support system
    2. Taking a break
      1. It’s important to self monitor and understand what you are going through.  Don’t just assume that you are experiencing drop because while you are, burnout runs so much deeper, and often last longer.  
      2. Communicate with those closest to you that you are taking a break in the interest of self care, and clearly defined what you are stepping back from.  
        1. Taking a break doesn’t mean that are ending a relationship, it just means that you are doing what is necessary to keep the relationship going, and to make all aspects of your life better.  
      3. When take a break in a committed relationship
        1. Communication
        2. If you’re experiencing stagnation talk to your partner, you can often use this as a platform to change the way you play.  Introduce new fantasies or even reintroduce old ones to create a new experience.
  7. Finding yourself to ready to get back into the lifestyle
    1. Bouncing back when you can
    2. Self monitor, you’ll know when you feel ready to get back into the lifestyle.  
    3. Be aware that coming back from a break can spur you into a frenzied period.  
  8. A final note or two.
    1. I’d like to thank our Executive Producers Jeff, Jeremiah, and Sihlus, our Senior Producers Matt, Jeremy, and xEmeraldxwolfx, our Producers Kainsin, Danni, and Heather, and our Jr. Producers K-2SO, Irish Mt. Dragon, and BuffaloDom84. If you would like to become one of our show producers go to our website, https://kuldrinskrypt.com/support to get that information.
    2. Second, I’d like to talk BDSM contracts for their donation of their beautiful 25 page soft and hard bound M/s and D/s contracts.. http://bdsmcontracts.org coupon code: kuldrin20 for a 20% discount on all purchases.
    3. And finally, I’d like to thank http://whippingstripes.com my personal maker of leather and paracord impact toys.
NEXT WEEK’S AGENDA
  1. Next on The Krypt we are going to dive into personal evolution.In the meantime go to kuldrinskrypt.com for show notes, how to subscribe information, and the link to Fetlife group so you can take part in the conversation and be eligible for giveaways. While you’re there click on support us to because a patreon supporter.
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Outro: This has been Master Kuldrin and Funsize for kuldrinskrypt.com: Unearth the Truth

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